The end of the day is where I reset and get back to being myself again. On bad days, I spend all day juggling meetings, deadlines, phone calls, answering the same questions, emails, commissions, creative projects, and the typical chaos of life. When all that’s over I just need a place to soft land and regroup. I need something to soothe and calm my ADHD brain and remind myself that self-care isn’t complicated. It’s the easiest part of the day on unusually chaotic days.

On easier days it’s some sort of herbal soothing tea. On especially chaotic days it’s wine and girl dinner. I start by pouring a hefty glass of a sweet red wine and taking a deep breath. I’ll put on my current favorite real housewives show and make sure everyone in my house knows it’s “pretend like Coco isn’t here” time. Then I rummage through the fridge for all the “little picking foods” I can find. Usually it ends up being cheese, sliced meat, pickles, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, dips, nuts, etc. as long as it’s as savory as possible I’ll pick at it. Anything that helps me create my own little charcuterie plate and helps me realize…I am done hustling and now I’m savoring.  

After I eat and drink my first glass, I clean up, pour myself a new glass, this one only halfway, and walk around the house setting mood lighting. As dark and cozy as I can make it is what works best for me. Light the candles. Go shower, put on the coziest pjs I can find, grab the softest blanket in the house, and go to the couch with my journal. This helps my sensory issues realize I’m not in go go go mode and now I’m in relax mode. My ADHD brain doesn’t stop when the clock says bedtime. It continues to spin, rewind the day, replay scenarios, and go over and over my to do list. Journaling for me is a little different than what it looks like for most people. For me, tomorrow’s to-do list. This way I get it all out of my head and don’t have to think about it for the rest of the night. Otherwise, I obsess over it hoping I won’t miss anything the next day. Then I doodle. Circles, hearts, faces, animals, it just doesn’t matter. I just let my fingers do what they want.  There’s no rhyme or reason. It just happens.

Once I’m done with that and I get all the energy out of my body and my brain slows down, I turn to the television. Typically, I’ll pick anything that has a badass woman slaying dragons, metaphorically usually something in the legal world though. Lately it’s been All’s Fair. I do set a time limit. Usually, it’s 2 hours or else I’ll get lost in watching TV and be up until 3 a.m.

Typically, I end the night with some self-care. A face mask. Stretching and brushing my hair for a solid 5 minutes because I swear nothing feels better. It’s not so much about the act of self-care but more about reminding myself I’m worthy of some me time. I don’t have to always be doing something to remind myself and others I’m worth something. The self-care sort of anchors me back in my body. Brings me to the present time and soothes me just enough to get in bed and take a deep breath. I can’t sleep quietly so I’ll turn on the TV to Hart of Dixie, which I’ve seen 100 times so I don’t pay attention and it’s not necessarily loud enough that I can even hear it. It’s just loud enough so I don’t hear the white noise of ADHD and start thinking about what needs to be done the next day. I curl up in the blankets and if I’m lucky I doze off long enough to feel rested the next day. My evening wind down isn’t perfect, polished, or planned. It’s just practical for me and what works for my brain. It’s just closing out the day with intention. 

XOXO,

Savi Monroe