Welcome to my new series where I slightly educate, rant, and make fun of myself through my ADHD brain takeovers. If I can’t make light of it then I might just fight it and that’s never gone well for me before. So here we go with my first blog of my ADHD series and the hyper fixation lifecycle that controls my brain….Let’s set the scene.

Every few weeks, my brain taps me on the shoulder like a Victorian governess and whispers, “We’re obsessed with this now.” And suddenly I’m elbow deep in a brand new identity…candlemaker, amateur botanist, crochet prodigy, girl who will run a marathon, sourdough goddess, aspiring polyglot, or CEO of a business I invented at 3:12 AM. For 48 hours, I am unstoppable. I am Wikipedia. I am the chosen one. And then POOF. The passion evaporates like a Victorian orphan left on a doorstep. I simply… walk away. No explanation. No closure. No forwarding address. This is the hyper fixation life cycle of ADHD.

But First: What Even Is ADHD?

I want to start with how ADHD affects me specifically as it affects  people in different ways. I was diagnosed as a preteen so with 20 plus here’s some basic info and what it means for me.  The literal definition is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity that can affect daily functioning and development.For me specifically….ADHD, contrary to popular belief, is not “I can’t sit still” or “I forgot my keys again.” It’s a dopamine driven, interest based nervous system that operates on four settings: I’m obsessed, I’m distracted, I’m overwhelmed, and I forgot this existed until you reminded me

It’s not a lack of attention for me, it’s a lack of regulation. My brain is basically a toddler with a taser…powerful, unpredictable, and deeply committed to doing whatever feels interesting in the moment. So, when something does spark dopamine? Oh, I don’t just like it. I hyper fixate. I become an expert, a scholar, a historian, a craftswoman, a visionary. For two days. Then the dopamine leaves my body like a ghost in a Victorian novel and suddenly I’m standing in my kitchen thinking, “Why do I own 17 candle making supplies? Who bought these?”

The first part of this series will lovingly and maybe a little sarcastically dissect the entire ADHD hyper fixation arc…

-The Initial Spark: “I saw one TikTok and now this is my personality.”

-The Research Binge: “I must learn everything ever written on this topic immediately.”

-The 48‑Hour Expertise: “I could teach a masterclass. I could start a business. I could be on Shark Tank.”

-The Burnout: “If I look at this hobby again I will perish.”

-The Abandonment: “Anyway… new obsession just dropped.”

It’s relatable. It’s educational. It’s comedic. It’s a little too honest. And it’s absolutely on brand for a girl whose brain runs on vibes, chaos, and the faint hope of dopamine. Why am I making this series? Because ADHD isn’t a flaw, it’s a pattern. A hilarious, exhausting, deeply human pattern that deserves to be studied with the same seriousness as a nature documentary narrated by David Attenborough. And because if I don’t turn my hyper fixations into content, then what was it all for?

The Hyperfixation Life Cycle

Let’s begin with a confession, I have lived entire lifetimes in 48 hour increments. I have been a candle maker, a botanist, a digital archivist, a girl who needed to learn the entire history of the Roman Empire at 2 a.m., and a woman who once decided she was going to become a professional ceramicist. This is part of the ADHD experience for me….becoming an expert in something for two days and then abandoning it like a Victorian orphan left on a church doorstep. No warning. No closure. No forwarding address. Just vibes and a trail of unopened Amazon packages.

Phase 1: The Spark (aka “What if I reinvent my entire personality today?”)

It always starts innocently. A TikTok. A Pinterest board. A girl on YouTube whispering, “Candle making is so easy, you guys.” And suddenly my brain, my dopamine driven, interest-based nervous system, lights up like a Christmas tree plugged into a faulty outlet. Normal people think: “Oh, that looks fun.” My brain thinks: “This is who we are now. This is our destiny. Cancel everything. We must acquire supplies.”

Phase 2: The Research Binge (aka “I have consumed 47 hours of content in 3 hours”)

This is where the transformation begins. I’m watching tutorials at 1.5x speed. I’m reading forums from 2012. I’m comparing wax densities like I’m preparing for a congressional hearing. I know the melting point of soy wax. I know the optimal wick size for an 8oz vessel. I know the chemical reason candles tunnel. Do I know where my birth certificate is? Absolutely not. But could I start a candle empire by morning? Yes. And I will.

Phase 3: The Expertise Era (aka “Call me a master artisan”)

This is the peak. The mania. The Renaissance. For a brief, shimmering window of time, I am unstoppable. I am pouring wax like a woman possessed. I am mixing scents with the confidence of a perfumer in Paris. I am labeling jars like I’m launching a boutique brand called Chaotic Glow Co. Friends ask what I’m doing this weekend. I say, “Running my candle business.” There is no business. There are just vibes and ambition.

Phase 4: The Burnout (aka “If I see one more wick, I will scream”)

And then… The dopamine leaves my body like a soul ascending. One minute I’m a candle-making prodigy. The next minute I’m staring at the supplies like they personally betrayed me. Suddenly everything is exhausting. The wax is heavy. The scents are annoying. The jars mock me. My brain whispers, “We’re done here.”

Phase 5: The Abandonment (aka “I will never touch wax again”)

This is the Victorian orphan moment. The hobby is left behind. The supplies gather dust. The passion evaporates like steam from a cooling pot of wax. People ask, “Are you still making candles?” I respond with the emotional equivalent of a war veteran staring into the distance.

So… What Is ADHD Doing Here?

ADHD isn’t just about attention deficit for me, it’s about interest regulation. Our brains run on dopamine, not discipline. We don’t choose what we focus on, our nervous system does. And when something hits that dopamine sweet spot? We go full PhD candidate for 48 hours. And when it doesn’t? We forget it exists until someone brings it up at brunch.

The Cycle Continues

If you relate to this, congratulations, you too may be living in the eternal loop of hyper fixation, burnout, and rebirth. All while trying to participate in society like a neurotypical human with a day job, chores, a social life so people don’t worry, and relationships. It’s chaotic. It’s exhausting. It’s hilarious. It’s deeply human. And honestly? It makes life feel like a series of tiny, passionate lifetimes. See you next time where I tackle “The Beverage Ecosystem” and why I always have three drinks for hydration, caffeination, and vibes. Ill educate you on executive dysfunction and sensory seeking and how the holy trinity of beverages help and the comedic part of how if I don’t have at least two liquids near me, which I don’t always even drink, my brain refuses to boot up. It’s a wild time in my brain.

XOXO,

Savi Monroe