Let’s be clear….none of these things are life changing. None of them are essential. None of them have earned the chokehold they have on my daily existence. And yet… Here I am. Dramatically obsessed. Fully committed. No explanation offered. No explanation needed.

Reality TV (specifically Real Housewives of Rhode Island + The City + The Valley)

I don’t watch these shows. I LIVE them. I absorb them. I spiritually identify as a woman in a confessional chair saying “I’m just being honest” right before lying.

The Color Yellow

Not wearing it. Not decorating with it. Just… thinking about it. Feeling something about it. Letting it haunt me like a warm, citrus flavored ghost. I have no idea where the obsession came from but it’s major.

Sleepytime Tea That Absolutely Does Not Work

Does it make me sleepy? No. Do I continue to drink it like it’s a prescription medication? Yes. Do I believe the little bear on the box is judging me? Also yes but really it makes me feel cozy and cute and aesthetically pleasing.

Olive & June Nail Polish

I will buy the same shade of pink but not too pink 47 times. I will call each one “my new signature color.” I will betray it within a week. It never fails. I do love a Marilyn Monroe red nail but inevitably I chose pink every time.

Under Eye Masks

Do they do anything? Unknown. Do I feel like a wealthy heiress in a satin robe every time I wear them? Absolutely. I even put them in the refrigerator, so they are super cold. I still have yet to really understand how caffeine in an under eye patch helps me but I’m rocking with it.

ELF Squeeze Me Lip Balm (Vanilla Frosting)

It smells like a cupcake that went to private school. I apply it like I’m in a coming of age movie montage. It really does taste and smell so amazing without being sticky. Also, it’s yellow.

Popcorn and M&Ms

A cinematic experience. A personality trait. A lifestyle. A religion. I have never liked popcorn. I love the taste and smell but the way it gets in my teeth bothers the heck out of me but something about it with M&M’s makes it all worth it.

Water With Lemon

I will dramatically announce “I need my lemon water” like I’m recovering from a scandal. In my head it makes my water fancy and somehow is going to make me glowy, healed from Lupus, wealthy, a genius, solve all world problems, and generally just perfect. I know it’s doing none of those things but in my head it does.

Additional Small Obsessions You Can Sprinkle In

Aka….the things that live rent‑free in your brain and refuse to leave

• The Target dollar section….I don’t need anything in there, but I need everything in there.
• The idea of journaling…not the act, just the fantasy of being a girl who journals and maybe I love to buy them and use them as cute décor.
• Mini travel size anything….I’m not going anywhere. I just like them.
• The smell of fresh laundry….I will stand in it like it’s aromatherapy for my soul.
• Cute ice cubes…hearts, spheres, flowers… I will freeze water in any shape except “normal.” It elevates any and every drink possible.
• The Notes app….home to grocery lists, intrusive thoughts, to do lists but way in the future, and my Pulitzer winning drafts.
• A single perfect pen….the one that writes like butter and disappears every 48 hours.
• Rewatching the same comfort show…because new plots are for people with emotional stability. Currently it’s Scandal because who doesn’t love Olivia Pope. Brothers and Sisters because I love Calista Flockhart. Adding to my list of comfort watches is Off Campus. I’ve watched it 3 times and it just came out a few weeks ago. I read the books starting back in like 2016 and loved them then. They really did well with casting and doing the books justice.
• Candles with pretentious names….“Forest Whisper,” “Moonlit Linen,” “Soft Chaos.” Yes. My guilty pleasure is buying candles I will never use for anything but décor.
• The concept of a night routine….not the execution, just the aesthetic. I try to incorporate it but generally I am too tired to do anything but the basics.

These obsessions are not practical. They are not logical. They are not necessary. But they are tiny portals of joy in the chaos of being a human woman with a brain that runs entirely on vibes, delusion, and seasonal beverages. I will continue to be dramatically obsessed with all of them. For no reason. Forever. I’ll check back in a month or two and see if I’m still obsessed with the same things then.

XOXO,

Savi Monroe