There comes a time in every woman’s life when she wakes up, looks in the mirror, and thinks, “Honestly… who wouldn’t be obsessed with me?” Welcome to my Gaston Era, also known as The Delusional Main Character Arc, where I am the town celebrity, the local heartthrob, and the unofficial mayor….all at the same time. None of these roles were assigned to me. I simply claimed them.

This era is not about being evil. It is about being confident in ways that defy logic. It is about flexing accomplishments no one asked about. It is about assuming every compliment is romantic interest. It is about believing the entire community is secretly watching your life like a limited series on Hulu. Let’s begin.

The Things I Do That Are Peak Gaston Energy

I Flex My Accomplishments Like They’re Olympic Medals

Did I finish a task? Did I drink water? Did I remember to send an email? Congratulations to me. I will be announcing it publicly. I will casually drop achievements into conversations that have nothing to do with them. Someone says, “Nice weather today,” and I respond, “Yeah, it reminds me of when I got promoted.” Peak Gaston behavior.

I Think Everyone Has a Crush on Me

The barista smiled? Crush. The mailman said “Have a good day”? Crush. Someone made eye contact for 0.4 seconds? Crush. A toddler waved at me? Crush. A dog wagged its tail? Crush. I walk through the world like I’m starring in a romantic comedy where every character is secretly in love with me. It’s delusional. It’s powerful. It’s PG villainy at its finest.

I Believe I’m the Town Celebrity

I walk into Target like it’s a red carpet event. I assume people whisper about me (they’re not). I act like my presence is a community service. I give slow, dramatic nods like I’m acknowledging my fans. I am not famous. But I behave like I’m on my third press tour.

I Pose Dramatically in Public for No Reason

Leaning on shopping carts like they’re props. Staring off into the distance like I’m filming a perfume commercial. Walking down aisles like I’m being followed by a camera crew. I am the moment. Even when the moment is me buying paper towels.

I Retell Stories With Main Character Edits

Did something mildly inconvenient happen? I retell it like it was a plot twist. Did someone disagree with me? I retell it like it was a betrayal. Did I trip on a curb? I retell it like it was a dramatic cliffhanger. Everything is cinematic. Everything is exaggerated. Everything is about me.

I Assume People Are Jealous of Me for Things They Don’t Even Know About

My skincare routine? Jealous. My iced coffee order? Jealous. My ability to parallel park? Jealous. My new throw blanket? Jealous. I live in a world where everyone is secretly competing with me, even though no one is actually aware of the competition.

I Give Myself Pep Talks Like I’m the Town Hero

I’ll whisper things like: “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.” “Everyone wishes they were you.” “They’re lucky to witness your journey.” It’s delusional. It’s dramatic. It’s deeply Gaston‑coded.

Here’s the thing…. my Gaston Era isn’t about arrogance. It’s about main character energy with a sprinkle of delusion and a dash of sparkle. It’s about choosing confidence even when it’s unearned. It’s about romanticizing your life even when it’s chaotic. It’s about believing you’re iconic even when you’re just buying groceries. If life insists on being unpredictable, the least you can do is be the star of your own show and in this era? I’m not just the main character. I’m the celebrity cameo, the plot twist, and the villain with perfect hair.

XOXO,

Savi Monroe